TOP 5 MOST RANDOM PERFORMANCES
5) One time Jim Andralis asked me to open for him at this bar in Williamsburg and I wrote a whole show about my friend Farris who was addicted to Jenkem and had died from it. Jenkem was an internet hoax at the time. People maintained that kids were getting high from huffing poop. Later in the show, Jim and I sang "Endless Love" together. (I have a friend named Farris but he is alive, never did jenkem)
4) Murray Hill asked me to come compete in this burlesque contest as a ringer. The crowd was incredibly hostile and at one point someone even heckled, "why don't you kill yourself!" Murray and I were backstage when one of the performers came rushing off, fell down the stairs and told us about how he had just gotten in a fight with a woman in the audience. At the end of the night, Murray and I ahd to walk him out for safety.
3) I made up a whole Whitney Houston based show called "Pocket Whitney" that I performed at my friend Nat's studio. It started with me trapped under a mattress with only my arms and legs sticking out and an electronic saxophone lying nearby. I sang along with "I Will Always Love You" from under the mattress and then slid my hand over, grabbed the sax, pulled it under the mattress and attempted to play the solo on it from under there. The rest of the show was a lecture about Israel.
2) Bridget Everett, Kenny Mellman and I made a show called "Christmas Where Are You" and it was all Jesus songs. We were supposed to be a family band. Carmine Covelli was our drug-addicted nephew in a wheelchair who lived upstairs and played his drums too loud.
1) Bridget, Adam Horovitz and I wrote a show called "Bridget & Neal are Fuckin & Adam is Watchin" that was pretty elaborate. We did all these sex songs and wrote a bunch of songs with titles like "Pee Pee in My Mouth," "Grandma's Dildos" and others. Kathleen Hanna designed the set, Carmine played the voice of Olivia, a doll Bridget had that has since become a big part of her stage shows and Murray Hill played the mailman. There was even this one part where Adam, who had grown a mustache for the show, left stage for a few minutes, shaved and came back. We said something seemed different about him and he said he had no idea what we were talking about. We only did the show once.